Growing Pains

This blog is a heartfelt confession.  To protect the identity of the friend involved I'm going to refrain from using any names, and I'm going to be very vague about details and times.  However, because God has used the experience in my life to teach me and grow me, I did want to share it.

I recently jumped to conclusions and accused a friend of, for lack of a better term, insensitivity.  I accused this person of not being sensible of other friends' feelings on a specific issue.  I misguidedly allowed myself to believe that I was doing this for the other person's good.  To make that person stronger; to help point out an error in thinking.  However, this was all really just a cover-up for hurt feelings.  I had made an attempt to honor and bless this friend, and I felt like what I did had been rejected.

Now, this friend did not in any way indicate displeasure or insensibility toward the attempt I had made.  It was through no fault committed by this person that I misunderstood the situation.  In fact, had I considered the character of this friend, and prior discussions/comments, I would have had no reason to jump to this conclusion.  It was a projection of my opinions on the situation solely based on the innocent wording of a few sentences and my own insecurities.  One that was not warranted by any other outside causes.  Not an intentional projection, but a projection nonetheless. 

However, I was humbled and blessed by the reaction of my friend to my misguided and selfish behavior.  Instead of arguing, the friend apologized for hurting my feelings and was willing to accept responsibility and blame in a situation where little or no fault could be assigned to anyone except myself.  I had approached the situation blaming, demanding explanations.  The friend responded with grace and humility, and was willing to take the blame. 

Now, I will say that in no way was I intending to hurt or wound this friend.  I really did want to figure out what was going on (even though it turned out that all that was going on was my own misunderstanding) because I truly did want to honor and bless the person.  However, that did not, and should not, excuse the way in which I handled the situation.  It was not done with grace and love as it should have been (on my side).  And I learned far more from the example of the friend's response than I ever would have from someone who would have treated me back in the same manner I chose to use.

Thankful that through the kind response of a friend I was able to recognize a log in my own eye which needed to be removed.  Especially thankful for a friendship in which all of the above could happen and I come out feeling like the relationship is actually stronger than weaker.  Grateful that God treats me the way this friend does rather than the way I deserve.  Even more grateful that Jesus took the punishment for my behavior when He did nothing to deserve it Himself.  How do I not live in light of these facts each day?